Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Retrospective

“Tabby, come out of my herb garden.”

“Definitely not. It smells good and I am sure it will be an enhancement to my daily smell. Talking of daily stuff Mrs. Human, what is the future of my daily feline prompts that all my feline fans wait for. The feline grid is disappearing today.”

“I am sure you will find something to tell everyone Tabby. You always seem to have something to meow about.”

“I have been writing daily since 10th October 2010 and today it will all come to an end. There will be tears on the streets, on the rooftops, on the walls, and even in the sewers where the rat population help to keep the feline population happy. Not to mention back in the old country where Bastet reads my daily blogs and praises the work I am doing in the name of all invincible felines.”

“Tabby wait and see, perhaps something new will arrive.”

“And what if it does not arrive. I will be left with restless paws. I will continue on my promotion  for feline literature. I will write my promised novel about how we felines conquer the human world again.”

“Again?”

“Mrs. Human we were here first. We might have had longer teeth and lived in caves, but we were the first. The humans were sitting in the trees, or hiding behind rocks and served as an extra ration for the daily food.”

“Thank goodness times have changed Tabby.”

“Wait and see Mrs. Human, and I would advise you to find a comfortable tree to sit on. It will be safer. The felines will return. There are already battle cries to be heard.”

“I have not heard any Tabby.”

“That is because you are not listening. Have you noticed how my teeth are growing longer?”

“Only since the vet scraped away the dental calculus that had formed. Your teeth are looking much better now.”

“You think so. Do not change the subject, we will be back. In the meanwhile you can serve me a bowl of tuna fish, refill my water bowl and change the contents of my recycling tray.”

“Of course Tabby, at your command.”

“Very good Mrs. Human, keep it up, it is good to hear you practising.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Retrospective

Daily Feline Prompt: Broken Feline

Not that I want to over exaggerate or make a fuss, but I do have a problem. For the past few years I have had a routine and we felines love to have a routine. Everything must happen at the same time in the same place. Without out daily habits a feline wash is not worth washing, a feline lick means nothing and not to mention the daily scratch behind the ear.

Now Mrs. Human tells me that my daily feline blog will be no more. Tomorrow is the last time when my feline friends will be gazing at their CatPress sites waiting to read my adventures and all my successes that I have achieved. I go for walks to defend my territory  and tell everyone about it, how I fight off the other felines with sharpened claws and death defying hisses. I am a hero and conquer all obstacles placed in my way.

Even the wall I stare at for hours, realises my talents and passes the word onto other walls. Every lick on my fur, every scratch in the right place is registered so that I can tell my public all about it. They are all waiting for the next news from my feline lair. I have become famous in the ww catweb and now this stops tomorrow.

Catpress, the feline partners of WordPress, will no longer encourage my feline words of wisdom from tomorrow. My afternoon routine is completely destroyed. What shall I do? Mrs. Human says I could perhaps  tidy up my recycling tray- That is naturally not feline work, for that I have a human.

I have decided to extend my sleeping time by two hours to fill in the empty space that my daily feline prompt will leave behind.

Daily Feline Prompt: Broken Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Juxtapositional Feline

“Help Mrs. Human, hiss hiss, meowow.”

“What is the problem Tabby, why so much noise.”

“Take it away Mrs. Human, I am being attacked. There is a ferocious intruder in my territory looking at me whilst I am sleeping. I am doomed, I must kill it before I am killed.”

“Nonsense Tabby, it is your reflection in the mirror.”

“What is mirror, I do not like mirror, it is an invasion of the third kind. It must die, kill it.”

“I will remove it, look. Tabby where are you going. There is no need to leap in the air and disappear beneath a chair.”

“It is hiding somewhere, I am sure. Nothing more is safe in this human world.”

“But it is only a mirror. I was trying for a photo for your daily paw. It has to do with juxtaposition.”

“I do not like juxtaposition if it means an invasion into my territory. Perhaps it is good that these daily feline prompts are coming to an end. Then life can go back to normal where I sit and sleep, or pose for the camera and all my followers in pawbook clap and make meows. These words are dangerous, they are moving in on my territory. Kill that mirror thing, it will absorb us all.”

“But Tabby”

“No buts, juxtapositions are a dangerous thing.”

As a mere human I would say never show the cat that owns you a reflection in a mirror. They do not understand what they are seeing and Tabby is still recovering from her shock. She is now outside.

Daily Feline Prompt: Juxtapositional Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feine Ceremony

The daily photo ceremony. How these photo sessions get on my nerves and with 9 lives less 4, I have even more nerves. Sometimes I just want to have a few minutes to myself, to be left with my thoughts and theories on the meaning of nine lives, but no. I have to have a photo taken.

Today was an eventful day. I spent the night outside, which for me is not night really, just something different. I cannot understand why humans always sleep at night, they miss all the fun. The ground is teeming with insects, they have to fight for space. The problem with humans is they avoid insects where they can, they don’t even eat them. I am often a transport service for various ants and they are very grateful. Their little legs tire quickly when they  have to walk great distances.

This morning I was awakened by noise in my home, the humans were again active, although Mrs. Human was still in her sleeping cushion. I decided to join her for a few minutes and so she moved over to make room for me as it should be. Eventually she too arose and whilst I searched for a new sleeping place she made herself busy with freshening my food bowl, renewing my water and making my recycling tray more suitable for my needs. There is nothing like human slavery for stressed felines like myself.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Ceremony

Daily Feline Prompt: Famous Feline

Of course I am famous. Everyone knows me. I have so many contacts on the computer even Mrs. Human is getting jealous. I have more friends than she has. I told her she does not use the right philosophy when writing. Showing photos of places she visits and telling people all about it is just plain boring.

I show photos of me and talk about myself. This interests my Pawbook feline colleagues. They do not want to know about the exciting conversations I have with my wall. They have their own walls to converse with and study. My food also does not interest them, they are only interested in what they have in their food bowls, although there is one subject we agree on and that is how tasteless vitamin pellets are. Now and again we send a few online hisses to each other. Purrs? no never, that is only for the softies. We felines are not friendly, we dislike each other, but that is what makes the feline world go round. We never have wars or arguments. They go unnoticed because it is a permanent state of feline life, we just hate each other.

If I take a walk in my territory and put one paw over the borderline, I am immediately confronted with the paw from another feline showing extended claws, or perhaps  a feline is blocking my path, hissing and ready to attack. This is the normal feline way of making contact. My mum always said it is a wonder that the feline race exists with so many kittens. Each time she left one of our dads after their memorable meeting, she would part with a yowl, a scratch and a hiss. Signs of true feline love I suppose.

And now I must go and show myself from my better side. Mrs. Human is preparing a meal of tuna fish, and we do not want to spoil the meal.

Daily Feline Prompt: Famous Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Doppelgänger

Bin ich froh dass ich zweimeowig bin in deutsch und english. It is difficult for a normal feline to be able to understand german and english, remembering that we have to translate everything simultaneously from meow, but I am super intelligent and have no problem.

There is no other feline that resembles myself in looks or in intelligence. I am unique. My fur has its own designer pattern: note the “M” design on my forehead. Macdonalds are still fighting the court case where I accused them of plagiarism, for stealing the design for their hamburgers, although we are reaching an agreement. They will supply me with Big Macs for my entire 9 lives (although 4 have already been used).

For those of you that are having sleepless nights (and days) because there is a rumour that my Daily Feline Meows  my be coming to an end, I can reassure you that I will continue in spite of the shameful way I am being treated here. I am so popular that thousands of cats have written in Pawbook to tell me to stay. There was even a breakdown on the Pawbook circuit due to overloading of the site “We love Tabby”.

Be reassured there will be no “Doppelgänger”. I am irreplaceable. There is even a discussion in the 10th life land that I will be reinstated as a god, although the neighbour’s cat has has had his eye on my territory for some time.

And now I must go. Quentin Paws Tarantino is on the meowline, about my new film. “From Meow to Hiss”.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Doppelgänger

Daily Feline Prompt: Archaic Feline

What am I worth, nothing, I am annoyed? Some human years ago, about 4-5 years, I decided to blog. I was one of the first felines that blogged. I had my own site and my litter sister Nera and apprentice Fluffy would also tell everyone about their daily life. They would assist with the pawlines. How many mice, how many birds, the chasing of the flies on the wall and the many times the sound of the opposable human thumbs using the tin opener would animate us to meet around the food bowls for our tuna fish delights.

It was all part of our lives (3×9=27) which are a lot of lives. In the meanwhile my other two feline colleagues are living their 10th lives in the eternal corn chambers catching mice. OK, I now have five remaining lives, and every morning I awake and my first thought is what shall I write today. The cats at WordPress would discover new adventures for me to write about.

My slave, Mrs. Human, would do the actual paw work, but under my observance. She will now become redundant. She translates my meows into human for all to read. I tell her what to write. It seems that my experiences of the feline world are no longer wanted. Humans you are missing a big chance to improve your lives. The daily Feline Prompt is no longer wished for. Its place in the archives of WordPress will no longer exist. How can I support the importance of  the feline existence in a human world without my popular, famous and memorable blogs.

Equal rights for feline bloggers I say, and do not forget we were worshipped as gods in the old country whilst the humans were still eating bananas in the trees and we will return. Beware what you are doing WordPress, the felines will take their revenge.

Daily Feline Prompt: Archaic Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Guilty Feline

Do I feel guilty for having a sleep?
Of course I do not, I can even count sheep
I never have problems and just close my eyes
Why should I care, I am very wise
I forget all events  that often do come
Especially the one with the unopposable thumb
In sleep we do everything, even open a tin
I know it’s a dream, but it is my great win
There are seas of tuna just waiting for me
I can see it all clearly, at last I am free
I drift on a cloud, have no feelings of guilt
My sleep is so needed, or my whiskers might wilt
But then it is time, I hear my alarm
There is movement in the kitchen, it is my lucky charm
A clank can be heard, someone is moving a dish
Time to wake up to a tuna fish dish

Daily Feline Prompt: Guilty Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

“Tabby what is so interesting in that corner.”

“Shhh Mrs. Human. Do not disturb.”

“But what is happening.”

“Stop disrupting my thought process and concentration.”

“You are making me curious.”

“See, you did it again.”

“What did I do?”

“Don’t ask so many pointless questions. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on?”

“Mrs. Human if you cannot see it, then there is no point that I begin to explain. Life is not just bowls of vitamin pellets and emptying my recycling tray. There are events that should be observed and considered. There are assumptions to be made.”

“Such as?”

“Now you have disturbed the atmosphere with your stupid questions. It was just getting very interesting.”

“Interesting?  That is only my herb patch that you are looking at.”

“What might be a herb patch to you is something completely different to a feline.”

“What is it for you?

“Mrs. Human you have done it again.”

“What have I done?”

“The formation of my creative thoughts has now been disturbed. So please some quiet and less excitement. I must concentrate.”

“But what are you concentrating on.”

“You already asked that one.”

“But I did not get a firm answer.”

“There are some moments in life where an answer is not necessary. Just concentrate on assuming what could be.”

“Tabby where are you going now.”

“Too much excitement here, I must take a sleep in a quiet corner, but call me if anything happens. Just keep an eye on that patch of earth for me.”

“Oh, she has gone. And the patch of earth is just a patch of earth, but who knows. I suppose I should have a look now and again in case anything happens.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Assumption

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline

This is how it is when all your feline hopes disappear of going places and seeing things moving in the grass underpaw and even having a conversation with your favourite wall. All your hopes are dashed, destroyed, by just one heavy shower of rain. The water is coming from above, the worst possible scene you can imagine. You cannot drink it and not avoid it. Your fur coat gets wet and drops of rain drip off the nose.

If the water is below there is no problem. You can walk in it an even have a refreshing drink from it. In the olden days in the old country when we were worshipped as gods some of us even managed to walk on the water, but they were copy cats of course. A   human guy did it and they got big ideas.

I am now just laying here and waiting for the rain to stop, I have no choice. I am a victim of the elements. Even my wall is wet, but it carries on regardless. And the rain has stopped. My wall is shaking off the water and everything is back to normal. And now to have a refrshing drink from the puddles in my territory. All is not lost, I am back again.

Daily Feline Prompt: Disappearing Feline