Nera the feline took her usual fresh air walk in the garden and had to stop and stare.
“Tabby, come here. At last Mrs. Human has an intelligent idea. We now have fresh food in the garden. Forget the tins of tuna, our food now comes on its own and it’s alive.”
“Nera sister, you mean Mrs. Human has started breeding mice?”
“No stupid, she has hung a bird house on a tree. Couldn’t be better. Those stupid birds don’t know what will hit them.”
This was when I decided to join in with this conversation, and steer it onto a sensible path.
“Nera, Tabby, that is not the idea. The birds have to search for their food in Winter when it is cold and starts snowing. They have to find the seeds they need to keep them alive through Winter and I am helping them.”
Nera looked at me as if I was from another planet and Tabby just shook her head. Fluffy arrived from his sleeping place and held his head up.
“What can I smell?” Fluffy said. “Fresh bird meat and I feel the quivering of wings in the air. Do we have a bird cantine?”
“No Fluffy, we do not.” I was becoming a little angry. “I have put a bird house up for the birds to feed.”
Tabby, Nera and Fluffy now put their feline heads together and started whispiering to each other.
“Let’s humour her” Nera said. “I have a brilliant idea to simplify access to the new food cupboard.”
“Fine Mrs. Human, but may I make a suggestion to improve life for the birds?”
I really did not know Nera from the considerate side, so decided to strike the iron while it was hot.
“Of course, Nera, I am sure the birds would appreciate any feline suggestion to their benefit.”
“I was thinking that the bird cantine is a bit high on the tree. Those poor birds will be exhausted flying up to reach it all the time. Why not place it on the ground. It would be much easier for the birds.”
“Yes Mrs. Human” joined in Tabby and Fluffy together, “that is a super idea, would make life much easier for our feathered lunch, sorry friends of course.”
“No, felines. I might be your slave, but I am not stupid. The idea is to maintain bird life in the surroundings and not destroy it.”
“I can feel bird movement in the apple tree and hear munching sounds” said Fluffy, who is blind.
“Your are right Fluffy. Mrs. Human as put up a supermarket in the tree branches. The birds are hanging on the food balls with their claws. Now that is an easy job. Just jump and snatch. Nera and I will let you have your share Fluffy, when we are full up.”
“Enough” I said. “That is not a supermarket for bird lunch, but a feeding parcel for the birds: a mixture of seeds and fat to keep them warm and safe through the Winter.” I was getting a little annoyed at the way this discussion was going. “If one of you felines touch so much as a feather on a birds wing, it will be house arrest for the Winter and the only tuna fish you will see will be in a tin with the lid firmly on it. One jump up a tree branch and I will throw the tin opener away. Have I made myself clear?”
There was as feline silence for a while. They were talking in telepathy to each other, something I had not yet been able to learn. Nera being the spokesfeline looked at me with her big yellow eyes.
“Mrs. Human, we think that your line of logic and reasoning needs something to be desired, but you being a human, we will excuse your mistaken thoughts. Comparing a winter inside without tuna fish with a bird meal, we have decided to let the birds roam and take advantage of your new garden concept. Bearing in mind that we felines do not like snow or cold weather and weighing up the advantages and disadvantages of the situation, we have decided to defer from any mouth watering attempts to have a blue tit for breakfast, a sparrow for lunch and a yellow tit for tea.”
“That is very considerate of you Nera, Tabby and Fluffy – TABBY COME DOWN FROM THAT TREE”
“Sorry Mrs. Human just following my instinct. We cats love to climb trees especially if there is a house on it for …..”
“Shhhhh, Tabby, she doesn’t have to know everything. My eyes are now strained with so much good food flying around, I now need a rest. What do you think felines?” Nera intervened.
“You are right Nera, there are better things to do than bird watching after all” said Fluffy and Tabby and all three cats crawled through the cat flap and went to their favourite sleeping places. I was sure I could hear them meowing in their sleep – “a laid table for meals, and it is not even flying around.”