Feline Dental Problems?

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do I have bad breath?”

“What a strange question Tabby.”

“I just wanted to know. Have a sniff.”

“No Tabby, I have no intention of giving you the bad breath test.”

“On my last degrading visit to the vet, when she stuck a needle in my private parts, I heard something about having my teeth cleaned. Perhaps you could do it with your toothbrush and toothpaste. Do they have tuna fish scented toothpaste?”

“Just a minute Tabby. I do not intend letting you use my toothbrush, that is unhygenic.”

“Unhygenic does not exist in meow. But the vet said something about putting me to sleep when they clean my teeth. I do not need putting to sleep, so if you do it there will be no need.”

“The vet said that at the moment everything is fine, but with time they will have to clean your teeth.”

“But I do not want to be put to sleep.”

“In that case you will nicely open your mouth and allow the vet to scratch away the stains on your teeth.”

“Definitely not without a fight.”

“Exactly, that is why you will be put to sleep, but it has time.”

“In the meanwhile you could perhaps search for a feline friendly toothpaste on your computer, and we can try that.”

“Which means you will nicely open your mouth and let me do the cleaning like on your photo that I took.”

“That is a yawn Mrs. Human, not a rehearsal for a teeth cleaning operation.”

“In that case we will have to go to the vet.”

“So what about my bad breath.”

“Tabbly I am not going to try to find out, and only another feline could give you an answer.”

“OK, let’s forget it, no vet and no toothpaste. I find I have super sharp teeth, that is all I need.”

 

 

The Missing Human

Shadows and Reflections 28.01 (3)
“Mrs. Human, where have you been?”

“I went out this afternoon for a walk with Mr. Swiss.”

“What about me?”

“Tabby, I really do not think you would like to go for a walk with me.”

“Of course not, that is not the point. You left me alone all afternoon. There was no-one here to read the wishes from my whiskers – anything could have happened.”

“But Tabby you never ask my permission to go for a walk, you just go: sometimes even in the middle of the night.”

“That is something completely different. What if I had a wish for something indispensable to my life. My water bowl could have been empty not to mention my food bowl, and I even used my recycling tray twice when you were not here.”

“Really Tabby, that is not a matter of life and death.”

“Of course not your life or death, but what about me.”

“But Tabby you survived, so do not panic.”

“I am not panicking I am just making a point. Where did you go?”

“Mr. Human and I took a walk to the stables. It was nice weather. We saw the horses, the chickens, geese and they even have new ducks.”

“You could have at least brought me a duck or chicken as a souvenir.”

“The animals at the stable are looked after not as a supplement to your food plan. The chickens lay eggs.”

“And what do the ducks do?”

“They swim in their own pond.”

“What a waste that is. I do not eat eggs or swim. What is the point of just looking at them, they would be a good support to my diet.”

“Tabby not everything with feathers are food for felines. You have your own food supply and both your food bowl and water bowl were full when I left, and still are – so what is the problem?”

“You did not tell me your were going.”

“And you did not tell me that your would be so unhappy on your own. I thought your were independent.”

“I am, of course, I iwas just saying.”

“Want some tuna fish for your evening meal.”

“Silly question, of course, but stay here while I am eating, it could be that I could choke on a fish bone.”

“Tabby, enough.”

“But….”

“Enough, there are no fish bones in tinned tuna fish.”

“But there are always exceptions.”

“So you want the tuna fish or not.”

“Of course, silly question.”

The Return of Mrs. Human

A Visit to the River Mosel area in Germany “Hello felines, I’m back.”

“Errr, you were away Mrs. Human?”

“You didn’t realise I was gone Tabby?”

“Not really. Did we notice she was gone Fluffy?”

“Who? Mrs. Human, well sort of. It was a lot more peaceful, no drama.” “Are you insinuating I make drama Fluffy?.”

“You don’t like it when I sleep on your chair. Anyhow for Tabby and I everything was as usual. Our feline recycling tray was emptied, our food dishes were full, even if it was only dry vitamin pellets.”

“Fluffy, you cannot have everything. Mr. Human was here and made sure that our needs were fulfilled. So what’s the big deal Mrs. Human and what’s that fat ginger feline doing in that photo with those strange green plants?”

“Tabby, that is my present for you. I met that feline while I was away in the vineyards of Germany. She lives there.”

“And what’s the deal? We have to clap and say what a lovely cat.”

“Ok Mrs. Human you were away taking photos of felines that live in vineyards. Not very interesting.” “Actually I was attending my son’s wedding in Germany.”

“Aha, you mean your overgrown kitten has found another overgrown kitten.”

“Something like that Tabby.”

“About time Mrs. Human. He was always sleeping in our room when he visited, although we haven’t seen him for some time. Now that you are back Mrs. Human you can serve us a dish of tuna fish and give me a tummy tickle. Mr. Human doesn’t do tummy tickles so well.”

“Is that all you missed?”

“We missed nothing actually, looks like Mr. Human was well trained.”

In Memory of Nera – born 2.04.2002, died 10.06 2014

Today when I visited my Facebook page I saw that they had featured the memory of a page I wrote on 10th June 2014 when my chief cat Nera died. Although I featured this on my Angloswiss Chronicles blog, I never put it on my Angloswiss Cat Chronicle pages, so here it is in memory of the one and only Nera who is probably reading this from her throne somewhere in the Eternal corn Chambers with Bastet.

Nera, begging

Today we lost our Nera, our big fat long furred feline. She slipped peacefully away whilst under sedation at the vets. It was unexpected, but her heart just ceased to beat. She was just over 12 years old and leaves her litter sister Tabby.
She moved in when she was just 8 weeks old with her sister. She was always the chief and could be very bossy, but she was our Nera. She had some problems, and today her ninth life was used. She lost one on the way when she broke a paw and hobbled around with a plaster cast for a few weeks. She had meningitus but came through it. She did not like her annual jabs, but the vet was prepared and she always received special treatment. Her head put was put in a cover so that she did not see what was coming. She was the reason why we had to visit the doctor for tetanus jabs after a feline bite in the hand. She was just protecting her dignity.

When I look at the garden I can see an empty place beneath the shade of a tree where she would lay. In the evening she would be on the porch with her sister, relaxing on the cool stones after a hot summer day. We will miss her swaying walk, We will miss her squeaky miaws. She was part of our life for the past twelve years, sharpening her claws on the cat center, sitting in front of the computer, sitting in a begging pose on her back legs with paws moving together as if to say “give me something”.
She loved to watch the birds in winter, as all good cats.

I am sure she took a turn at the Rainbow Bridge and decided to join Bastet in the eternal corn chambers, taking her place at Bastet’s feet. She was a royal, stately feline, she was our Nera and will never be forgotten.

In Memory of Nera

The Way Down

Tabby descending

“Can I go further now Mrs. Human, I can’t keep this pose forever, just take your photo quickly.”

“OK Tabby, you can continue.”

“Did you get this climbing thing to show everyone how I do it, or was it for a purpose?”

“I thought it was a good idea to save you jumping up and down to the top of the cupboard, although you never use it when going up, just when coming down.”

“Mrs. Human I am not yet a golden oldie like you and am still able to move like all normal felines. I don’t know why you insisted on getting this ladder thing, just to show everyone how I can do it I suppose.”

“I was worried about the distance if you would jump from the cupboard to the ground and might injure youself.”

“I am feline and do not jump and injure myself. We turn and twist in the air and settle firmly on our paws.”

“But you never know Tabby.”

“If I wanted to I could jump onto the desk which is just beneath the cupboard, but to humour you I use the ladder. I suppose it was some human idea you could buy with your iPad online. I remember when it arrived with all those bits and pieces. That was a human pantomime until Mr. Human managed to piece it together. You and Mr. Human were looking at it for ages waiting for ma to actually use it, so I did just to make you happy.”

“Oh, I thought you would be glad for a little help to the top of the cupboard.”

“Yes Mrs. Human, no problem, we cats do tend to have problems climbing.”

“Tabby”

“Yes Fluffy”

“But we have no problems climbing.”

“Of course we don’t, but you have to humour these humans just to make them feel wanted and necessary.”

The Great Feline Outdoors

blue tit pecking seeds

“Fluffy the sun is shining, we have warm temperatures and the birds are feeding.”

“Big deal Tabby, so what do we do?”

“We sit and wait until the bird has forgotten that we are there and pounce.”

“No-one will be pouncing Tabby, go and play together.”

“Felines do not play Mrs. Human, our life is concentrated on “The Importance of being Feline” based on the famous work by Oscar Wildcat. We think and therefore we are, in the words of Renée Des Cats, so do not tell us how we should approach the natural reflexes of the flying population. They are born to be supplied as our daily meal.”

“But you never seem to catch one Tabby.”

“Fluffy, be quiet, I am thinking and you will discourage my bird concentration. I think the bird does not realise I am here, it is still pecking at the delicacies supplied by Mrs. Human. I will now sleek up on the bird with my paws and pounce.”

“But Tabby.”

“Fluffy will you please hold your whiskers, the bird has now flown away due to your loud meows. You startled him.”

“And if Fluffy had not frightened the bird away, I would have done so. Birds are not in my garden as a supplement to your vitamin enriched food pellets.”

“Oh here she comes again, Mrs. Human with her food pellets. How would you like to eat dry food pellets Mrs. Human, instead of your juicy steaks, potato and vegetable.”

“That is not the question.”

“Mrs. Human it is written in the book of Bastet, chapter 992, verse 37, felines should be fed on something that once lived.”

“But your pellets lived, in another form of course. You have chicken flavoured pellets.”

“Oh, big deal, but I don’t see any chicken wings or legs, not even a feather in sight: just a brown pellet and it doesn’t make a noise either.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Brain Power

Let’s assume we do, in fact, use only 10% of our brain. If you could unlock the remaining 90%, what would you do with it?

Tabby relaxing

Excuse me, but I am feline. We are gods and our brain power is not the subject of ridicule in an amateur attempt to supply a daily prompt.

I am insulted. Feline brains are not comparable to that of subordinate humans. We are in action twenty-four hours of the day. You think we sleep. We do not sleep our brain revolves all of the time. Just closing my eyes does not mean that I am here. Felines travel in the 9th dimension. We evaporate metaphysically speaking. We are here, but not here. We travel through the dimensions of the unknown, following trails and scents unknown to the human species. You are following me? Perhaps not, I know these facts are far too intricate for the understanding of the human brain.

Mrs. Human found this prompt stupid, but she only uses 10% of her brain at the best of times and that is when she is preparing my food. The rest of her brain is wasted on cleaning, cooking and writing stupid blogs that no-one really needs.

We felines are continuously in action working out the best way to catch a bird, mouse or just anything that tastes good and moves. If it moves, kill it and eat it. What other creature has such a finely tuned thought dimension.

This is only 50% of my brain scope, the other 50% is spent in telepathy. As I explained yesterday, Meow is just to fool the humans and the canines. Even then we are artists, compare a Meow to a wuff, a bark. Barks are painful to the ears, although the ears of a dog are naturally not as sensitive as that of a feline. We have a fine musical voice, but it is only camouflage. The actual action is taking place in the brain, the 50% devoted to telepathy.

If I speak to my colleague Fluffy, you hear nothing. I send a message by thought waves, let us have a paw fight. Fluffy knows what to expect. I warn him before I swipe my paw over his ear. My litter sister Nera has left us for the eternal corn chambers, but we often have a feline conversation, although no-one notices. She is still in charge and gives her instructions. How do I know when Roschti, the ginger threat from next door is approaching? Mrs Human is astonished that I am already sharpening my claws and making threatening gestures. I pounce when he turns the corner (or disappear).

And you talk of 10% and 90% brain. We are feline we have no % brain, we are gods and we are the organisers. You should be reading this on your knees. Leave your calling card when you leave that I know who I have been talking to.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Brain Power

And Then There Were Two

Two Migros cats

Yes there are two of them, captured on the camera by Mr. Swiss. Visiting the local supermarket is no big deal, but our supermarket  has something special. They do not need a watchdog to keep things under control, they have two cats.

I have written before about the supermarket cat, a proud red/ginger cat that has taken over. He strolls around as if he owns the place, makes himself comfortable on the furniture and of course, his favourite place is in the restaurant. Naturally this does not go unnoticed and he is loved by all. He is fed with samples from the plates of the guests. Not being a shy feline, he usually sits on the floor watching, melting the hearts of the customers who donate a few scraps from their plates.

I once met a lady whilst I was taking a photo and she laughed and said, there are two of them.

“Two of them, are your sure?”

“Oh yes, they are probably twins, from the same litter. They are the same colour with the same markings.”

I once made a remark at the meat counter about the supermarket cat and the assistant, who I know quite well, told me that this feline had moved in more or less and leads quite a spoilt life, although knows his place and never enters the food department. She said nothing that there were two. It seems the supermarket cat(s) actually have a real home near to the supermarket: there are many houses in the area. Sometimes I see a disappearing red tail descending the stairs to the ground floor gardening department. The felines know their way and manage quite well with the staircase.

Just before Christmas Mr. Swiss and I did our last minute shopping at the supermarket. We were finished, although I was in the flower department in front of the entrance before we left, choosing a nice orchid as they had a special offer. Mr. Swiss was waiting outside and I joined him before we made our way to the car. He was smiling and could not wait to show me the fruit of his camera efforts. We both always have a camera with us when we leave the home, you never know.

It was a success, Mr. Swiss saw both of the felines and took a quick photo before they left for territories unknown, so here they are together in the picture. The felines were taking a walk to the car park on their way home. A rare capture, I had never seen both of them together.

When a Tabby Cat meets a Sphinx

Tabby and the sphinx

“Tabby, stop howling and hissing, it is a cat the same as you are.”

“Mrs. Human, that is not a cat. I am experiencing close encounters of the third kind. That is not feline. It is something extra-terrestrial. Mrs. Human we are being invaded.”

“Tabby, first of all it is a sphinx cat and it is born that way.”

“No self-respecting feline is born that way. It is a curse placed by one of those cats they used to burn at the stake. It is bewitched, and is a threat to our existence. Terminate, terminate.”

“Tabby you are not a dalek and it will not be terminated. It lives in the apartment opposite and now and again takes a walk, the same as you: you know the feline instinct about marking territory and the Sphinx is new in the neighbourhood and is just finding its way around.”

“I don’t believe it Mrs. Humane. Has your brain already been infiltrated by this strange creature. Has it already brainwashed you into believing it is one of us? Never, that is not normal. It has folds in its skin and big naked pointed ears and it smells.”

“All cats smell Tabby, and each has its own scent. The sphinx race just happens to have no fur to absorb the scent, that is why they are bathed once a week, too keep them smell free.”

“Is that one of those strange human jokes that we felines do not get the hang of? Cats do not take baths, we have a good lick, although to be quite honest if I had a fur shortage I would also not be keen on licking what was undernearth.”

“Tabby you know that not every cat looks like another. They have different colours, different length of fur …..”

“..and different smells. Most of the smells are just, well, feline. But this naked example is not feline, it is different, it is not one of us. It must be separated, terminated.”

“Tabby do not be such a racist.”

“Me, racist, never. The proof is that I allow humans to live with me. If I was racist, I would not allow you to feed me and empty my litter box. Yuck, just imagine emptying a litter box for a naked cat. I bet his recycling process is different to mine.”

“Hold on, Tabby. Be kind to those that are different. I am sure the little sphinx feline just wants to be your friend. It is so lonely not knowing any other cats.”

“No, no way. I also do not know any other cats except for Fluffy and Fluffy is not my friend. I just put up with him as he happens to eat from the same dish as me and use the same litter tray. Otherwise we do not walk paw in paw and look at the moon in the evening together. Imagine touching a naked cat, no Mrs. Human. Just ensure that he stays on his side of the fence and I will have a quiet growl from my side of the fence.”

There you have it, sometimes I think felines are not so different from humans. I will keep you posted if the situation changes. Perhaps one day they will walk together and eat from the same dish, but perhaps not.

“Forget it” and Tabby has the last word.

An unknown visiter - the sphinx

The Bird House

Birdhouse

“Tabby, Fluffy come here!”

“Yes Mrs. Human, to your command Mrs. Human.”

“Cut the politeness, you are not usually so polite. You both have the impression that you are in charge in my home.”

“In our home, Mrs. Human, just a small correction.”

“What is that poster doing on the wall outside our home?”

“We thought that now the feeding station, sorry bird house, is in position, we could drum up some audience to watch the birds. You know how much we appreciate our feathered friends in Winter, and we thought we would invite some our our fellow felines in the neighbourhood to participate in the bird watching.”

“This does not look like an invitation, it looks more like a threat and a profit making business.”

“No, Mrs. Human, how could you? We only have good intentions. Fluffy and I, were admiring the wonderful construction of the feline feeding station for birds and we decided to share its advantages with our fellow felines.”

“And you are charging them for the purpose. I read one tin of tuna fish or a share of the hunting results. First of all I am not donating our supply of tuna fish to any feline that happens to want to do some bird watching, and there will be no hunting in my back garden, so there will be no hunting results.”

“But Mrs. Human, let us explain. In winter our feathered friends are hungry and from the goodness of your heart you are supplying seeds to help them exist throughout the cold weather. This means that the birds will be flocking in hundreds to share all the goodies. They are open to attack from other animals and we just want to protect them. If the bird house is surrounded by felines showing their claws and gnashing their teeth it will scare any other dangerous animals away. It is part of our bird protection scheme.”

“And what about the hungry felines watching the flying food chain.”

“That is the clever part Mrs. Human.They will supply us with tins of tuna fish for permission to watch or take part. All felines enjoy bird watching, it is one of our favourite sports. You will then have enough tuna fish for us without having to buy it.”

“And the hunting results.”

“In every business proposition there is an element of risk. Generally the birds are too fast for us. It is only the babies that do not get away, but in Winter there are no babies. Fluffy and I agreed to add those words, as it would encourage more of our feline friends to partake in the enjoyment.”

“Tabby, Fluffy, remove the poster at once. I want happy satisfied birds in my garden and not feathered game to satisfy the appetite of the local felines and flying in fright worried about being eaten. And if I see one feather in my home, or our home, from a sparrow, blue tit or finch, there will be no more tuna fish and I will count your vitamin pellets one by one before serving them. Is that clear?”

“What about Bubu?”

“Who is Bubu?”

“He is the chief feline in the neighbourhood and the Gato di tutti Gatti (cat of all cats). It was his idea and he paid us two tins of tuna fish to make the preparations.”

“You can tell Bubu, the boss of your cat mafia that if I find one dead bird I will have Bubu’s whiskers as an ornament on the wall. Is that clear?”

“But Bubu will not like that.”

“I don’t care what Bubu likes. And now have one of your famous sleeps that last 22 hours and meditate about it. In the meanwhile I will tell the birds to organise a couple of crows as guards on the bird house.”

“Oh, we don’t like crows, they are so dangerous.”

“Exactly.”