Daily Feline Prompt: I pledge feline allegiance

Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?

“Tabby was you pledging on that photo? You have your paw raised.”

“Fluffy I was washing myself and had to keep balance by raising one paw in the air, otherwise I would have missed washing the feline details of the fur. Why do you ask.”

“Because todays prompt says what are we pledging and if we are patriotic. Are we patriotic?”

“Of course we are Fluffy. You know our pledge goes to I, me and myself.”

“Oh, in that case I am also patriotic. Can I include the tuna fish as well.”

“No, fluffy, tuna fish is not a question of patriotism, it is a question of survival, although Mrs. Human finds that vitamin enriched pellets are healthier and more organic.”

“But tuna fish is also organic and I could survive quite well on just tuna fish.”

“It would become boring with time Fluffy. If we only got tuna fish and no pellets, we would have nothing to complain about. We must keep the humans alert to our wishes.”

“Of course Tabby. We do not want them to think that we are satisfied and happy, otherwise they will become lazy.”

“However, we must not forget the pledge we make to Bastet.”

“You mean the one about keeping the mouse population under control.”

“Yes Fluffy, I see you have been reading the book of Bastet in detail, but you should also study the chapter about meals on wings.”

“Is that the one with the list of birds we can eat and those we should avoid because they are bigger than us.”
“Exactly Fluffy. In the meanwhile let us pledge to 23 hours sleep and an hour searching for a sleeping place.”

“Yes, you see we are feline patriots.”

Daily Feline Prompt: I pledge feline allegiance

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline breakdown

What habits should felines break?

“TABBY come here”

“Mrs. Human, you do not have to shout so loud. We felines have sensitive ears. We can hear a whisker drop.”

“Yes Tabby, I am sure, perhaps you can tell me if you heard the hair of your fur drop when you took a walk in the bath after first of all walking through the fields outside.”

“Now you know Mrs. Human, I don’t think I did. Did I leave a fur hair after leaping into the bath?”

“Yes you did Tabby, it is stuck to the mud from the paw print.”

“Perhaps it was Fluffy-“

“No, Tabby. Fluffy is blind and cannot find the way from outside to inside. Remember, he is tied to a pole in the garden, otherwise he might wander away.”

“Of course, Mrs. Human, then it was probably me. I was having one of my moments of feline breakdown. As the great feline philosopher Bertrand Russell Paw said “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the forgetfulness of leaving paw marks in the bath”, so you should not shout Mrs. Human, otherwise you also might have a nervous breakdown.”

“True Tabby, I almost had a breakdown when I had to clean the bath of your muddy paw marks.”

“But you did it, you see Mrs. Human, everything is possible, so no reason for a hissy fit or being a drama queen. Anyhow that was this morning and as you know we felines are known for our short memories. Is that all Mrs. Human? I have to catch up on my sleep. You disturbed me with your loud voice.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Breakdown

Daily Feline Prompt: Break the feline silence

When was the last time you really wanted (or needed) to purr something, but kept quiet? Write a post about what you should’ve said.

“Hisses, MEOW, Hiisss”

“Tabby did you say something?”

“I was expressing myself, I have to let it out sometimes. I just cannot keep it purred up all the time. And now I feel better. You should try it as well Fluffy.”

“Do you think so. Ok – hold on MEOW WOW WOW WOW MEEEOW.”

“Err Fluffy, I think you might be overdoing it. The felines in the village are all joining in.”

“You mean I was too loud.”

“No, not at all, in feline decibels it was normal, but I think in human decibels it was a little over the edge.”

“I was expressing an urge Tabby.”

“That was more than an urge, it sounded like a triumphal feline territorial conflict.”

“Do you think that Mrs. Human heard me?”

“Definitely, I can hear her complaining already.”

“Fluffy what was that noise? Did you have an accident?”

“No Mrs. Human, Fluffy was just having a furball moment.”

“It sounded more like she was on the feline war path.”

“No, Mrs. Human, everything is OK. Tabby said I should express myself. It would be psychologically beneficial to my internal piece of mind. It would be calming.”

“Tabby!”

“Fluffy, don’t blame it on me. I only did a soft purr and meow, you turned up the volume full whisker power.”

“Listen felines, I do not know who started this meowing match, but it is now time to calm down.”

“No problem Mrs. Human – Fluffy let’s sleep, but no snoring.”

“I don’t snore.”

“How do you know when you are sleeping.”

“A good question Tabby.”

“Felines, sleep now, we can discuss that later, you have made enough noise.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Break the feline silence

Daily Feline Prompt: Pawing Motions

What’s messier right now — your litter box or your pawpad (or your favorite device’s home screen)? Tell us how and why it got to that state.

“I beg your pardon.”

“Are you annoyed Fluffy?”

“Yes I am Tabby. Not only are we getting insulting prompts, but they are even repeats. Now they are insinuating that I have a mess. I never have a mess.”

“Neither do I Fluffy, but that is because we have a human slave that clears mess away. It is the purpose in their life.”

“Of course Tabby. My pawpad is never messy. OK, now and again it might have a few paw marks, even a tiny little scratch from when a claw accidentally decides to go exploring, but humans are there to take care of these things.”

“Someone is comparing our living quarters with a pig sty. I think we should refuse to do these daily feline prompts, they are going a little over the mark.”

“Nobody’s perfect Tabby, even pigs and humans.”

“Just us felines Fluffy, we are perfect.”

“Yes, remember the saying “If a feline did not put a firm paw down now and then, how could his human remain possessed” from Winifred Carriere. And now to put my foot down, it is five minutes since I applied my recycling process in our litter box and it has still not been emptied. “MRS HUMAN……”

Daily Feline Prompt: Pawing Motions

Daily Feline Prompt: Delayed Feline Contact

How would you get along with your sibling(s), parent(s), or any other feline you’ve known for a long time — if you only met them for the first time today?

“Who is that Tabby?”

“No idea Fluffy, never seen him before.”

“Then what is he doing on our blog.”

“I think it was a Mrs. Human idea like meeting a feline for the first time today.”

“Sounds a stupid idea. I do not even like felines I have known for a long time. I mean take Roschti. He has been hovering around in his red and white fur coat since we took over and he still hasn’t taken the hint that he is unwanted.”

“I don’t think Roschti likes us either Fluffy. He tells everyone we smell and our whiskers are not the right colour.”

“Roschti does not smell, he stinks, and I don’t have any whiskers Tabby, so he it seems his intelligence quota is also not so high. But tell me Tabby, what would you say to your dad if you met him for the first time today.”

“Any other stupid questions Fluffy? I have never met my dad, he left my mum to get on with it from the beginning, so how can I say anything to him. If I met him I would not recognise him and I am sure he would not know me. And what about your mum and dad?”

“Of course I know what they look like. My dad was Cool Man and mum was Lucy.”

“But would you recognise them in fur and whiskers Fluffy.”

“I recognise them on the photos.”

“But you cannot smell a photo Fluffy.”

“You mean if they would cross my path in real life. Oh, I would have to think about it. My dad did have blue eyes.”

“So does near every Persian and Siamese feline, and your dad was not one of those. How many kittens did he father?”

“Well there were about 10 of us where I grew up, but only three were my real brothers and sisters. The rest just sort of arrived, but Cool Man was the daddy of them all.”

“You see Fluffy, I never knew my dad and I am sure he cheated on my mum.”

“I suppose he did and don’t forget after dark, all cats are leopards.”

“What has that got to do with it Fluffy?”

“It might be why your dad disappeared.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Delayed Feline Contact

Daily Feline Prompt: History of Lives

Write a piece of meow describing the incident that gave rise to the phrase, “Nine lives are the solution”

“At last success.”

“Tabby, you look very pleased with yourself, but you were away for some time. Mrs. Human was getting worried and wanted to search for you.”

“Typical human. I do not get worried when she goes on one of her hunting expeditions in the supermarket. I know she will return. She has no trust in a feline, always worries that something might happen. We are old enough to look after ourselves and have nine lives.”

“But Mrs. Human is convinced that you no longer have all nine lives, especially when you had to visit the vet last year.”

“That was nothing tabby, just a small throat infection and I still had eight lives when I returned, so why worry. If you must know I was on a mouse hunting trip in the field.”

“And did you find one?”

“I found many Fluffy, but unfortunately they found me first and so there are no trophies.”

“You mean we will have to swallow those vitamin dried pellets again this evening: no fresh meat.”

“Exactly, the mice are getting sly. I was just ready to pounce on one and another mouse appeared next to it, fatter and bigger, so I changed my direction, thinking why take inferior goods when you can have something better. Just as I was going to pounce on this bigger mouse, another mouse appeared.”

“Even bigger than the other two Tabby.”

“Yes and then a bird landed on the ground, within paw distance.”

“So you pounced on the bird.”

“Well I was going to, but then a dog appeared.”

“And, you chased the dog.”

“Not quite Fluffy, the dog chased me. I can be lucky that I escaped with my life and my tail is not hanging on the door to the kennel.”

“But you still have eight lives?”

“Not quite, but almost. Let’s change the subject, I can hear the sound of a tin opener in the distance.”

“Thank goodness, they let’s forget about the vitamin filled pellets. I love junk food.”

“So do I Fluffy, especially if it comes from a tin, swims in juice and smells like fish.”

Daily Feline Prompt: History of Lives

Daily Feline Prompt: Three Whiskers in a Water Bowl

Have you ever tossed a whisker or two into a water bowl and made a wish? Did it come true?

“Tabby you mean that if I lose a whisker in our water bowl, I can make a wish and it will be granted.”

“Of course Fluffy, the problem being that we felines very rarely lose a whisker in a bowl of water and Fluffy, not wanting to be insulting, but you have no whiskers.”

“Of course I have whiskers Tabby, it is just that they fall out when they appear. It seems that my special Selkirk Rex family have very fragile whiskers, although we are known for having curly whiskers. Our whiskers are very rare.”

“I suppose you could describe them in that fashion, but to me they resemble corkscrews when you have them, although just a minute Fluffy.”

“Yes?”

“I can see you have two whiskers on the lefthand side. Perhaps you should make your wish quickly before they disappear or break.”

“OK, I wish that I had lots of whiskers like Tabby so that I could make lots of wishes.”

“Sorry Fluffy, it won’t work. I have never lost a whisker and my wishes have never been granted.”

“What did you wish Tabby?”

“The same as you Fluffy.”

“You mean????”

“Yes, a paw friendly tin opener.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Three Whiskers in a Water Bowl

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Obstacle Course

Think about what you wanted to accomplish last week. Did you? What are the things that hold you back from doing everything you’d like to do?

“No way am I going into the front garden.”

“Why not Tabby?”

“For once be glad you cannot see. Mrs. Human put a monster in the garden.It’s all green and red and yellow and its eyes are on stalks.”

“Can we eat it Tabby? Does it smell like tuna fish.”

“Fluffy, you really do not want to know. Its neck moves and so does its tail. It does not have a smell and non smelling creatures are always suspicious.”

“Perhaps we could make friends with it. It might be feeling lonely all on its own.”

“Fluffy, if you want to be friends with it, then be my guest.”

“But Mrs. Human does not let me out into the front garden. I would have to escape and she does not like it when I escape. She thinks I might lose the way. Can’t you try to make contact. Perhaps it is waiting for you to make the first contact.”

“Fluffy I do not have a death wish and have no longing to be the first feline that makes contact with an extra terrestrial that is probably longing to discover if I am tasty or not.”

“But you could write all about it on your Pawbook page. “Today I met a monster in the garden from another planet. Has any other feline ever seen one in his territory. Any advice appreciated.”

“And you think that other felines in Pawbook would let me know?”

Five minutes later

“Fluffy it worked. Tiddles from the village said that he also has one in the garden. His Mrs. Human bought it in the local supermarket. It does not breathe or move, so we can assume it does not live. Just a human thing. They like little toys in their garden. He also said I can even give it a push with my paw and it will fall over, although when Tiddles did that his human was annoyed. So it looks like it is just another proof of how silly humans are.”

“Great Tabby, you see Pawbook is the solution to all our problems. What are you writing now?”

“I thought while I was in Pawbook I would just add that I love my mother, my brothers and sisters and my dad.”

“But you don’t know who your dad is.”

“Who knows, perhaps he has a Pawbook page and might read this and we will be reunited.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Obstacle Course

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Bedtime Story

“A Feline’s Guide to Mouse Hunting”  by Tabby Conan Feline

Not every feline knows how to catch a mouse, so those felines amongst us that have never had the privilege to devour a real mouse, this could be useful. It may also be worthwhile knowledge for our human servants helping them to understand our needs and tastes. Now and again we have to point them in the right direction. Not everything that comes from a tin is a feline’s idea of a fulfilled life. Let’s face it felines, you don’t go hunting for a tin of meat and you can’t even open it yourself. True the magical noise of the tin opener does have an effect on our feline taste buds, but we still have to wait until the opening of the tin takes place and that does draw on our nerves somewhat.

So let’s get down to the basic facts. First of all you have to go out. Mice do not slip under the door or come through the window voluntarily. For some reason they avoid us felines. The best time to find mice is in the Spring, or Autumn. In Spring they wake up and gather food and in Autumn it is harvest time and they collect their Winter provisions. For this reason you should concentrate on finding mice near the source of their food, in a field. I usually leave my home either late at night or early in the morning, depending on the weather (we felines do not like rain). Do not only rely on your sight. Our noses and ears are also to be used in the quest for a fresh mouse.

OK, just smell around until the scent of a mouse is in the nose. Nose on the ground and suddenly you will notice that the mouse is very very near. It goes without saying that we felines apply our one foot after the other sleeking walk, to avoid making any noise. Now use your sight – do not forget we are basically short sighted, so a bit of a distance is required. Somewhere in the grass your paw may detect an opening and vibrations. This being the case, you have found a mouse hole. Now feline patience is 100% required. The mouse will not commit hara karl and arise voluntarily from his place in the earth, so the long wait begins. This can be many hours. I have discovered that during the night there is no problem, but during the day my humans do tend to get somewhat excited when I disappear for long lengths of time. Time goes quickly when you are enjoying yourself.

Mice are not as intelligent as we felines and eventually they will surface. To help, it is sometimes of advantage to put your paw into the mouse hole as far as it fits. If you are lucky you will feel the mouse and he will try to escape. One way or the other the mouse will surface and now we are called to apply our feline intelligence and agility. The best method is to try and catch the mouse with your mouth. It ensures a quick demise of the mouse (it stops moving immediately and you can make off with your trophy). Some inexperienced felines find that a mouse is a plaything and like to follow it around, pawing at it when it gets tired, the disadvantage being that the mouse may gather its energy and find refuge in a place not available for cats. How often have I watched as an inexperienced feline finds its mouse, only to loose it in a garden cupboard or in our home much to the dismay of our humans. Afterwards a chase begins through the home by the humans until they may find the mouse and hunt it away. Humans are strange animals. When I first arrived here I remember catching my first mouse and showing it to them so that they realised what a professional feline I was. They threw it away making remarks such as we do not want any of your dead mice here.

To get back to the subject, I myself prefer a quick kill. After all you have spent hours waiting for the mouse, and when it eventually gets caught, it is a shame for the concentration and work involved to just let it go again. Now having your mouse, what does every self-respecting feline do with it? Basically the idea is to eat it. Cats, do you really want to spend your life living from tinned food or dehydrated food. Organic food is always the best, even the humans have discovered the advantages. So eat your mouse and enjoy it, you don’t know when the next one will arrive. And don’t forget – there are parts of a mouse that we do not eat. The tail and its appendix are not eaten by us felines. Of course, my colleague, Fluffy, that lives with us is a sort of funny feline – has curls (calls himself a Selkirk Rex). Anyhow it seems that his mum and dad never told him that a mouse tail must remain, so he eats all, although these days he only gets the mice I leave for him (he can’t go hunting any more as he probably wouldn’t find his way back – doesn’t see anything any more).
Ok, felines, that was my idea of mouse hunting. If any of you have a better method or improvements, I would be glad to hear it and would spread the word to the other felines I know.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Bedtime Story

Daily Feline Prompt: Beneath the Herbs

Go to the nearest patch of earth. Look out for a full minute. Write about what you saw.

“Tabby, can you move, I have to tell everyone on my pawpad what I can see from the window and you are blocking my view.”

“Excuse me Fluffy, but do not disturb, I am trying to sleep.”

“Then tell me what you can see.”

“I see nothing because I have my eyes closed.”

“Then open them so that I can write all about it.”

“Fluffy, do you not have anything better to do with your time than write descriptions of what you see.”

“Ok, then I will tell everyone that I can see Tabby who is rolled up on Mrs. Human’s herb garden with her eyes closed pretending to sleep.”

“I am not pretending to sleep Fluffy. I am sleeping.”

“If you were sleeping you would not be able to talk to me.”

“I am only able to talk to you because you woke me up. Just to keep you quite, you can write I can see three ants pulling a leaf along the ground, a worm that is squirming across the roots of a plant and an earwig that has decided to go to sleep under a leaf. A bug has just buried itself in a mound of earth and there is a fur ball nearbye. Is that your fur ball Fluffy.”

“Oh, I think it might be. I deposited it this morning.”

“Next time bury it, it is very unpleasant to sleep next to a furball. Do you need more information?”

“I think that will do Tabby. Can I take your photo with my online pawpad just to complement this blog I am writing.”

“OK, but do not show my face. I prefer to remain anonymous on this blog stuff.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Beneath the Herbs