Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Bedtime Story

“A Feline’s Guide to Mouse Hunting”  by Tabby Conan Feline

Guinea Pig

Not every feline knows how to catch a mouse, so those felines amongst us that have never had the privilege to devour a real mouse, this could be useful. It may also be worthwhile knowledge for our human servants helping them to understand our needs and tastes. Now and again we have to point them in the right direction. Not everything that comes from a tin is a feline’s idea of a fulfilled life. Let’s face it felines, you don’t go hunting for a tin of meat and you can’t even open it yourself. True the magical noise of the tin opener does have an effect on our feline taste buds, but we still have to wait until the opening of the tin takes place and that does draw on our nerves somewhat.

So let’s get down to the basic facts. First of all you have to go out. Mice do not slip under the door or come through the window voluntarily. For some reason they avoid us felines. The best time to find mice is in the Spring, or Autumn. In Spring they wake up and gather food and in Autumn it is harvest time and they collect their Winter provisions. For this reason you should concentrate on finding mice near the source of their food, in a field. I usually leave my home either late at night or early in the morning, depending on the weather (we felines do not like rain). Do not only rely on your sight. Our noses and ears are also to be used in the quest for a fresh mouse.

OK, just smell around until the scent of a mouse is in the nose. Nose on the ground and suddenly you will notice that the mouse is very very near. It goes without saying that we felines apply our one foot after the other sleeking walk, to avoid making any noise. Now use your sight – do not forget we are basically short sighted, so a bit of a distance is required. Somewhere in the grass your paw may detect an opening and vibrations. This being the case, you have found a mouse hole. Now feline patience is 100% required. The mouse will not commit hara karl and arise voluntarily from his place in the earth, so the long wait begins. This can be many hours. I have discovered that during the night there is no problem, but during the day my humans do tend to get somewhat excited when I disappear for long lengths of time. Time goes quickly when you are enjoying yourself.

Mice are not as intelligent as we felines and eventually they will surface. To help, it is sometimes of advantage to put your paw into the mouse hole as far as it fits. If you are lucky you will feel the mouse and he will try to escape. One way or the other the mouse will surface and now we are called to apply our feline intelligence and agility. The best method is to try and catch the mouse with your mouth. It ensures a quick demise of the mouse (it stops moving immediately and you can make off with your trophy). Some inexperienced felines find that a mouse is a plaything and like to follow it around, pawing at it when it gets tired, the disadvantage being that the mouse may gather its energy and find refuge in a place not available for cats. How often have I watched as an inexperienced feline finds its mouse, only to loose it in a garden cupboard or in our home much to the dismay of our humans. Afterwards a chase begins through the home by the humans until they may find the mouse and hunt it away. Humans are strange animals. When I first arrived here I remember catching my first mouse and showing it to them so that they realised what a professional feline I was. They threw it away making remarks such as we do not want any of your dead mice here.

To get back to the subject, I myself prefer a quick kill. After all you have spent hours waiting for the mouse, and when it eventually gets caught, it is a shame for the concentration and work involved to just let it go again. Now having your mouse, what does every self-respecting feline do with it? Basically the idea is to eat it. Cats, do you really want to spend your life living from tinned food or dehydrated food. Organic food is always the best, even the humans have discovered the advantages. So eat your mouse and enjoy it, you don’t know when the next one will arrive. And don’t forget – there are parts of a mouse that we do not eat. The tail and its appendix are not eaten by us felines. Of course, my colleague, Fluffy, that lives with us is a sort of funny feline – has curls (calls himself a Selkirk Rex). Anyhow it seems that his mum and dad never told him that a mouse tail must remain, so he eats all, although these days he only gets the mice I leave for him (he can’t go hunting any more as he probably wouldn’t find his way back – doesn’t see anything any more).
Ok, felines, that was my idea of mouse hunting. If any of you have a better method or improvements, I would be glad to hear it and would spread the word to the other felines I know.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Bedtime Story

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Places

Beach, mountain, forest, or somewhere else entirely?

Fluffy

“Where shall we go today Tabby?”

“I was thinking of a sleep for a few hours, who wants to go anywhere?”

“But there is Spring in the air, the crocuses are flowering and the birds are singing, so let’s make the most of the lovely weather.”

“Fluffy, I am making the most of the weather. I am sleeping, or was, until you awoke me.”

“But I hear the pitter patter of tiny mouse feet.”

“Oh, really, where, show me the way Fluffy.”

“I thought you wanted to sleep.”

“I did, but if the mice are ready to go, so am I. It is Spring, the time that the greenhorn mice are making their first little steps in the green, green grass of home.”

“That was quite poetical Tabby, sounded good, so let’s go.”

“Actually I got it from a song they played on the radio today by Cat Jones from a guy that was in prison ready to be executed and he could only think of the green, green grass.”

“Silly guy, but on the other hand it is quite logical. The mice are probably enjoying the green, green grass until we pounce and it will be their last thoughts. Look there goes one.”

“Missed it Fluffy, it disappeared in the ground before I could catch it.”

“I noticed. I will smell my way over and wait with my paw on the hole until it appears again.”

“Look there it is.”

“Where Tabby?”

“Silly felines we are. crossed the lawn underground and turned up on the other side. I will hold my paw over the other end of the underground passage and wait.”

“Err Tabby”

“Yes”

“It has appeared again out of another hole.”

“I think we are doing something wrong somehow.”

“What are you two stupid felines doing. Leave my mouse holes alone. My babies are learning the ways and have not been produced for the next feline meal.”

“Oh, Tabby, I think that is the mama mouse and she is not very happy.”

“Yes, I am the mama mouse and leave my kids alone. How would you like it if I hunted your kittens?”

“We don’t do kittens Mrs. Mouse, not in our biological streaming programme.”

“Children, come now, and remember never trust those big four legged stupid animals with whiskers that speak meow. It is time for your guided tour of the underground mouse paths, and remember if you are ever threatened by those meow creatures, just disappear into a path and stay there until night when it is safer.”

“Tabby, I don’t think we were so successful.”

“No, strike minced mouse from the menu. And now for a rewarding sleep. Who wants mouse anyhow?”

“We do Tabby.”

“Forget it, wait until the farmer ploughs the fields, then we will pounce.”

“Oh, Tabby you are so wise.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Places

Seasons

three cats and clouds

“Looks like we are on our own again this week cats, Mrs. Human is busy doing human things so said we should do the necessary. So what do we know about seasons.” Nera the big black long haired fur cat spoke. She carried on “Tabby, any ideas?”

“Well Nera basically there are really only two seasons, the one when we sleep and the one when we are awake.”

“That is typical Tabby, all you do all day long is sleep, you don’t even notice that there are seasons.” Fluffy the youngest cat with the curly white fur spoke.

“OK, Fluffy, Mr. know-it-all, then you tell me what we do otherwise than sleep.”

“Well we eat.” answered Tabby.

“Just a minute” Nera had a few words to say. “Life does not just consist of eating, sleeping and being awake. It depends on what the weather does.”

“Nera you mean when it is raining we sleep and when the sun is shining we sleep and in between we are awake looking for somewhere to sleep.”

“No Tabby, I mean there are other things to do. Even you must notice that there is a time when things are different.” answered Nera.

“I know what Nera means” said Fluffy “like the season when we have tuna fish for dinner.”

“No Fluffy, that is not a season, that is a necessity: for example mice; now that is a season.”

“Nera, can you explain that one.” Tabby looked a bit puzzled, shaking her whiskers.

“Tabby do you see mice every day? No, of course not” Nera continued not waiting for an answer.” You only see mice at certain times. When the farmer human mows his fields, then they are running around looking for a new home. When the weather changes and Autumn is arriving, the mice start looking for food. The humans call it Autumn, but we call it mouse season.”

“I know what you mean Nera” said Fluffy, “that’s when they slow down and we can catch them so easily. That is the mouse season.”

“In that case Nera” said Tabby “we have the main mouse season and a few in between thanks to the farmer humans. What about the butterfly season?”

“Of course, Tabby, I nearly forgot that one. That comes somewhere between the human Spring and Autumn. Then the weather is warmer and if we are clever we can catch a few for dinner.”

“I like butterfly Nera” spoke up Fluffy “but Mrs. Human does not like us catching them. She always speaks in a loud voice.”

“I know Fluffy” said Tabby “she really gets annoyed, but they are so tasty.”

“OK cats, then let’s sum it up. We have mouse season, butterfly season.” Nera was  counting them on her paws. “Only two, that can’t be. The humans have four.”

“Nera you forgot the sleeping season and the awake season” Tabby reminded.

“And the tuna fish season” Fluffy said.

“Cats” said Nera, “I told you they do not count”

“Why not?” asked both Tabby and Fluffy.

“Well, because, they just don’t. Seasons only come at certain times and two thirds of our life are spent sleeping, once a week we get tuna fish, sometimes twice if Mr. and Mrs. Human are in a good mood, and when we are not sleeping we are awake. That is logic.”

“What’s logic Nera?” the other two cats asked.

“Don’t ask silly questions” was the answer “and now let’s all go to sleep and dream about the mouse season which has just begun.”