Daily Feline Prompt: Conversant Feline

Tabby 12.02 (1)

Are you paying attention kittens, this is your first lesson in human.

“Bird” means meow, wow with emphasis on wow, because bird wows you.

“Mouse* means meowee wow, very similar with emphasis on meoWEE. to make a pont, the mouse being smaller than the bird.

“Meow” combined with a coughing sound and spluttering noises, means look human, my first hairball. This is very important as humans do not like hairballs, and you must train them from the beginning to accept your hairballs, and to praise them if their shape is perfect

“Clank clank” combined with the waft of a breeze underlined with a fish taste, is the sound of the tin opener and the smell of the tuna fish contents of the tin. This is one of the most important actions in the human nature, and remember if you miss this, you are missing the meaning of life as a feline.

If a human begins to meow, she is trying to communicate with you so you must ignore this. Humans should at no time think they are taking over. Never forget they are a lower species and will never be able to possess the basics of meow. There is no problem in applying telepathy on the human brain. The brain of a human is underdeveloped and so there will be no problem in persuading your human to comply with your wishes.

However this must be done carefully, we do not want to transfer your human into a state of shock when it begins to deal out double portions of tuna fish, and do not forget the forbidden word “meow pellets” should never be spoken, Otherwise your food bowl will be continuously filled with hard indigestible and tasteless vitamin pellets. One mistake and your fate is sealed. I made this mistake as a kitten, and now I am permanently given the pellets wih tuna fish only as an exception.

Daily Feline Prompt: Conversant Feline