Daily Feline Prompt: Invisible Feline

“Look into my eyes. You are drifting away, your eyelids are dropping, you are now invisible to the world.”

“No Tabby that is not working.”

“That is because you are not concentrating Mrs. Human. You have to think like a feline not a human.”

“But I am a human.”

“You see Mrs. Human, you are not in the right sphere for releasing yourself from the worldly stress.”

“And you are?”

“Of course Mrs. Human, our intellect is on a higher level as the human one. It is one of the reasons why a human now and again has insomnia. Have you ever seen a feline with insomnia?”

“No, not really Tabby, you have quite a long healthy sleep, at least 16 hours a day.”

“But are you sure I am sleeping?”

“You have your eyes closed.”

“But perhaps I am not here, in another place, in a different dimension. I am floating.”

“You don’t look like you are floating. You are laying on a cushion.”

“That is because humans only believe what they see.”

“And felines do not.”

“We can be in two places at the same time. I might be sleeping, but perhaps I am chasing mice or flying with the birds, or even eating tuna fish in the kitchen.”

“How do I know that Tabby.”

“You don’t have to know everything. That is all part of the feline invisibility method. I would advise always to have tuna fish ready in my bowl, for the case that I might want to eat some whilst I am sleeping.”

“Good one Tabby, but I can only offer vitamin pellets.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Invisible Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Identical Feline

I am unique, there is only me
I am so handsome, that is plain to see
I am so perfect,  a wonder to treasure
I am a champion in all  and do it with leisure
My whiskers are perfect, my meows are a song
I can jump so high, because I am strong
There is no cat that compares, I am the best
no bird can hide from me, no matter how high the nest
It is obvious and clear, it is all on the shelf
There is nothing better here than I, me and myself.

Daily Feline Prompt: Identical Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Blushing Feline

I must admit I almost blushed once whilst I was sitting in the garden. There was a new feline in town and he dared to walk into my territory. And then I saw that he was naked. Not a hair or fur piece on him anywhere: just pink.  I would have been ashamed to show myself like that, all the bare facts exposed. This feline walked on regardless. I was now left with a choice. Do I attack or ignore him? I decided to ignore him. I am sure he would have been embarrassed if I had taken action, exposing his bare facts. My mum always said that it was important to always be clean and never go anywhere without having a good lick first. This feline had nowhere to lick.

Daily Feline Prompt: Blushing Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Patient Tabby

There she goes again, Mrs. Human calling me everywhere. She shut me in the cupboard, I could have suffocated, even lost a life and she didn’t care. If she leaves a cupboard door open, it is an invitation for a nice long sleep. with no disturbances. When she begins to call my name, increasing the volume constantly, I know that she is missing me. That is her problem of course, I am quite comfortable in this cupboard. It smells good and it is the perfection of comfort, the feeling you get when you sleep on the washing basket.

Here she comes again.

“Tabby, Tabby where are you?”

Now she has a tone of panic in her voice, imagining that I have disappeared forever. Shall I release her from her misery, with a meow? “Meow wow, Meow.”

She has walked on and ignored my cries for help. This could become a problem. Perhaps she will never find me. I will become a skeletal cat, just bones. I will starve, drastic measures are now required. I will have to attack the cupboard. Meow wow, scratch scratch. I can hear her approaching calling my name. “Mrs. Human I am here and suffocating. I am dying of hunger and thirst. ”

“Tabby here you are in the cupboard. I have been searching everywhere.”

“You locked me in the cupboard, robbed me of my freedom, left me to die.”

“Don’t overdo it Tabby, you were only missing for a few minutes.”

“Those few minutes could be a difference between life and death. I had no air, I was suffocating.”

“You look all right to me Tabby, and quite comfortable.”

“Of course, I was putting a brave face on the whole thing, and now you can release me.”

“Tabby I did not lock you in the cupboard. You only need to give the door a gentle push from the inside and it would have opened.”

“That is not the solution, I have to do everything myself. I have certainly lost some weight, look how thin my tail has become. ”

“Looks OK, to me, perhaps you should go and replenish your lost energy with a nice bowl of vitamin pellets.”

“Forget it, I will stay where I am, so close the cupboard door, it is draughty.”

“But I thought…..”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, have rethought the problem.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Patient Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Incubating Feline

“Tabby what are you doing with that egg?”

“I am incubating it.”

“You are doing what? Felines do not incubate eggs.”

“There is always a first time for everything and my fur is nice and warm. I have spent time watching the birds and decided it would be a good idea to start my own bird production. It would revolutionize the world of feline food. No more vitamin pellets, but the real thing. Imagine if I hatch my own eggs. I would have a constant supply of birds for food an I am sure they are also full of vitamins.”

“No, Tabby, birds hatch their own children to prolong the species and not as food. The egg you want to hatch is a chicken egg and that would be too big for feline food.”

“But when they arrive from the egg they are so neat an fluffy, just the ideal size.”

“And you cannot hatch the eggs I buy in the store, it is not possible, the are not fertilized. You would have to get a fresh egg after the chicken has laid it.”

“No problem Mrs. Human. There is a chicken run just across the field. You  could fetch me an egg from there.”

“No way Tabby. I am not having baby chickens living here, just for you fresh food supplies.”

“But the other felines find it a good idea and I already have a list of their orders.”

“Tabby it is not such a good idea. And now go and eat your nice healthy vitamin pellets. You do not have to hatch them, they arrive ready to eat. Where are you going?”

“A sparrow is sitting on a branch, it looks quite tasty and it is ready to eat, no eggshells in the way.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Incubating Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Wrinkle

“Mrs. Human, this food is definitely beneath my status in life.”

“But it is good for you Tabby, full of vitamins. It gives you a wonderful silky coat of fur and protects you from getting wrinkles.”

“I could get wrinkles? Is that dangerous, could I lose a life if I have wrinkles.”

“No Tabby of course not, Even humans can get wrinkles.”

“Then why don’t you eat these healthy vitamin pellets. If they prevent felines from having wrinkles, then they would also stop humans from suffering from wrinkles.”

“Humans do not eat vitamin pellets, they are manufactured for felines. You do not suffer with Wrinkles Tabby, they just appear, although as you are a feline with a fur coat, they would not be seen if you had them.”

“You mean I might have wrinkles and not even realise it. Or is this just a human trick to encourage the eating of the boring, tasteless vitamin pellets. Do these pellets make the wrinkles disintegrate, do they attack them and will it hurt me. Perhaps you should stop force feeding me on these chemical vitamin pellets.”

“No Tabby, they are healthy and contain everything you need for a perfect feline life.”

“But I prefer tuna fish. I have never heard of a feline getting these wrinkles because they eat tuna fish.”

“That is different Tabby. Tuna fish is nothing special.”

“That is a matter of opinion Mrs. Human. I find tuna fish very special, the highlight of my food life. And if I have wrinkles from tuna fish, it makes no difference. You said no-one would see my wrinkles because I have a fur coat. Mrs. Human, you have a wrinkle.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere because you never eat vitamin pellets.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Wrinkle

Daily Feline Prompt: Provoking Feline

Just look at me, so sweet
My whiskers straight and looking neat
How could you think that I am mean
I make sure that all is clean
The scratches on the table leg?
I was searching for my easter egg
Or perhaps I was sharpening my claws
After all it was for a very good cause
I do not provoke, I am the innocence pure
I do my best to be quite sure
And if I produce a real hair ball
They are very neat and do not crawl
I do my best as a feline to be very good
But many of my actions are just misunderstood.

Daily Feline Prompt: Provoking Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Noise

I don’t like noise. We felines are peaceful creatures and never make a meow too many. Meows are necessary to remind humans that we are there, otherwise they might forget us because we are so quiet. Do you hear a feline approaching? Of course not, our paws are padded and we are trained to creep up on our prey. Humans wear something called shoes and shoes make noise. It can be a stress on the ears when your human approaches. First of all there are vibrations that sound as if an army would be preparing for an attack and then they open their mouths and utter strange noises which sound like an explosion to the sensitive feline ear.

If only humans could use telepathy as we felines do. On the other paw it would not be such a good idea, they would know what we are thinking.

Of course there are noises which are acceptable to the feline ear. The sound of the tin opener is the ouverture to a symphony. The clank of it being removed from its place and then the impact of it hitting the tin. That is when the flavours are released and penetrate our nose with a promise of tuna fish for a meal. As soon as I hear the tin opener chorus, I join in, to complete the opera.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Noise

Daily Feline Prompt: Grasping Feline

That is very easy. If it breathes, moves and smells good, then grasp it and of course kill it. Your next meal has been cared for. I am a little limited with grasping mechanisms, but you make the most of what you have, which in my case are four paws. The paws contain claws, so the idea is to dig your claws into the victim and use tearing actions.

Now don’t be silly humans. After all you have no qualms about tearing your meat with knives and forks. We felines are self sufficient, and have it all ourselves. We can even apply our teeth for various tearing actions. We are even able to grasp by employing two paws clamping the desired object between the paws. You say there are other applications for grasping and not only to prepare your meal? I suppose there are, but we felines tend to rely on the necessities of life.

Daily Feline Prompt: Grasping Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Captivating Feline

I am captivating, I am charmed
I am the super cat, do not be alarmed
I am so perfect, of course I know how
Just a twitch of my whiskers, make everyone say “wow”
My walk is poetry on paws and everyone wants to swoon
They form a queue around me when they see the silvery moon
But I am very fussy, do not fulfil every wish
The only temptation I succumb to is a bowl of tuna fish

Daily Feline Prompt: Captivating Feline