Daily Feline Prompt: Restarting Feline


Life is one big restart. Mrs. Human says I sleep too much and that is why I am permanently restarting, but that is not relevant. A feline needs at least enough sleep to sustain nine lives. If I happen to lose a life on the way, it means I must double my sleep requirement to compensate for the lost lives. Thus we have the sum of 9 lives – 4 lives +/- twice the ratio of the lives that you still have and divided by the requirement of sleeping hours that are still necessary. Then the whole thing has to have a restart at least twice a day after each sleeping session, recharging the whiskers which form a principal part of the complete feline system – are you with me? Probably not, because these feline mathematics are not analogue to the human system.

I mean sleep is not just sleep, it all has to be in proportion with the balance of the daily needs. Daily needs = 23 hours +1 hour to find a sleeping place and don’t forget the half hours of eating time which have to be fitted in between. I know, a day only has 24 human hours, but we felines usually fit a few extra hours in to compensate, that is why we sleep so much more than humans. In the extra sleeping time we are multiplying the sum of the ratio to the nine lives minus four plus the whskers in between. If you happen to have flexible paws and fur growing out of your ears it helps, not to mention the Macdonalds magical “M” symbol imprinted on the forehead of all genuine tabby cats.

Are you with me, no? Good it would not be positive if humans understood the logic of the tabby cat.

Daily Feline Prompt: Restarting Feline