“Tabby whenever Mr. Human and I sit at the table in the kitchen for a meal, your are outside and staring at us both.”
“What do you expect Mrs. Human, it is feeding time for humans and I find it particularly thoughtless when you pile your dishes with meat delights and there is nothing for me. I feel deprived, and left out. You do not love me.”
“I though love did not exist in meow.”
“It depends on the situation Mrs. Human.”
“Like most events in a feline life, a matter of convenience. Ok, here is a piece of ham. Tabby, it will not move, you have to walk over to it when it landed on the floor.”
“I thought you might have the decency to serve it on a plate with some trimmings. I eat with the eye you know.”
“Tabby, you can take it or leave it. I want to get on with my own food.”
“Is that all, just a meagre piece? I like my ham with an edge of white to it.”
“Tabby eat it or leave it.”
“What about some roast beef. You are also eating roast beef on your plate. I do not compromise Mrs. Human, I want only the best.”
“OK Tabby, here, go and fetch it.”
“I am not a dog and do not fetch. Move that piece of roast beef nearer to the ham, no better, put a selection of your food on a separate plate for me. I like my food served with style.”
“Tabby it is not your food, but human food, so take it or leave it.”
“I will report you to the Society for prevention of feline starvation.”
“Tabby do not overdo it. You have never starved here, quite the opposite. You are putting on weight.”
“Are you finished your food Mrs. Human?”
“Yes, there is no more.”
“In that case I will go, but do not forget tomorrow, same time and same place again.”
“Of course not Tabby, how could I when you away sit in the same place at the same time every day, witing for some extras.”
The Cat Chronicles 