When a Tabby Cat meets a Sphinx

Tabby and the sphinx

“Tabby, stop howling and hissing, it is a cat the same as you are.”

“Mrs. Human, that is not a cat. I am experiencing close encounters of the third kind. That is not feline. It is something extra-terrestrial. Mrs. Human we are being invaded.”

“Tabby, first of all it is a sphinx cat and it is born that way.”

“No self-respecting feline is born that way. It is a curse placed by one of those cats they used to burn at the stake. It is bewitched, and is a threat to our existence. Terminate, terminate.”

“Tabby you are not a dalek and it will not be terminated. It lives in the apartment opposite and now and again takes a walk, the same as you: you know the feline instinct about marking territory and the Sphinx is new in the neighbourhood and is just finding its way around.”

“I don’t believe it Mrs. Humane. Has your brain already been infiltrated by this strange creature. Has it already brainwashed you into believing it is one of us? Never, that is not normal. It has folds in its skin and big naked pointed ears and it smells.”

“All cats smell Tabby, and each has its own scent. The sphinx race just happens to have no fur to absorb the scent, that is why they are bathed once a week, too keep them smell free.”

“Is that one of those strange human jokes that we felines do not get the hang of? Cats do not take baths, we have a good lick, although to be quite honest if I had a fur shortage I would also not be keen on licking what was undernearth.”

“Tabby you know that not every cat looks like another. They have different colours, different length of fur …..”

“..and different smells. Most of the smells are just, well, feline. But this naked example is not feline, it is different, it is not one of us. It must be separated, terminated.”

“Tabby do not be such a racist.”

“Me, racist, never. The proof is that I allow humans to live with me. If I was racist, I would not allow you to feed me and empty my litter box. Yuck, just imagine emptying a litter box for a naked cat. I bet his recycling process is different to mine.”

“Hold on, Tabby. Be kind to those that are different. I am sure the little sphinx feline just wants to be your friend. It is so lonely not knowing any other cats.”

“No, no way. I also do not know any other cats except for Fluffy and Fluffy is not my friend. I just put up with him as he happens to eat from the same dish as me and use the same litter tray. Otherwise we do not walk paw in paw and look at the moon in the evening together. Imagine touching a naked cat, no Mrs. Human. Just ensure that he stays on his side of the fence and I will have a quiet growl from my side of the fence.”

There you have it, sometimes I think felines are not so different from humans. I will keep you posted if the situation changes. Perhaps one day they will walk together and eat from the same dish, but perhaps not.

“Forget it” and Tabby has the last word.

An unknown visiter - the sphinx

The Bird House

Birdhouse

“Tabby, Fluffy come here!”

“Yes Mrs. Human, to your command Mrs. Human.”

“Cut the politeness, you are not usually so polite. You both have the impression that you are in charge in my home.”

“In our home, Mrs. Human, just a small correction.”

“What is that poster doing on the wall outside our home?”

“We thought that now the feeding station, sorry bird house, is in position, we could drum up some audience to watch the birds. You know how much we appreciate our feathered friends in Winter, and we thought we would invite some our our fellow felines in the neighbourhood to participate in the bird watching.”

“This does not look like an invitation, it looks more like a threat and a profit making business.”

“No, Mrs. Human, how could you? We only have good intentions. Fluffy and I, were admiring the wonderful construction of the feline feeding station for birds and we decided to share its advantages with our fellow felines.”

“And you are charging them for the purpose. I read one tin of tuna fish or a share of the hunting results. First of all I am not donating our supply of tuna fish to any feline that happens to want to do some bird watching, and there will be no hunting in my back garden, so there will be no hunting results.”

“But Mrs. Human, let us explain. In winter our feathered friends are hungry and from the goodness of your heart you are supplying seeds to help them exist throughout the cold weather. This means that the birds will be flocking in hundreds to share all the goodies. They are open to attack from other animals and we just want to protect them. If the bird house is surrounded by felines showing their claws and gnashing their teeth it will scare any other dangerous animals away. It is part of our bird protection scheme.”

“And what about the hungry felines watching the flying food chain.”

“That is the clever part Mrs. Human.They will supply us with tins of tuna fish for permission to watch or take part. All felines enjoy bird watching, it is one of our favourite sports. You will then have enough tuna fish for us without having to buy it.”

“And the hunting results.”

“In every business proposition there is an element of risk. Generally the birds are too fast for us. It is only the babies that do not get away, but in Winter there are no babies. Fluffy and I agreed to add those words, as it would encourage more of our feline friends to partake in the enjoyment.”

“Tabby, Fluffy, remove the poster at once. I want happy satisfied birds in my garden and not feathered game to satisfy the appetite of the local felines and flying in fright worried about being eaten. And if I see one feather in my home, or our home, from a sparrow, blue tit or finch, there will be no more tuna fish and I will count your vitamin pellets one by one before serving them. Is that clear?”

“What about Bubu?”

“Who is Bubu?”

“He is the chief feline in the neighbourhood and the Gato di tutti Gatti (cat of all cats). It was his idea and he paid us two tins of tuna fish to make the preparations.”

“You can tell Bubu, the boss of your cat mafia that if I find one dead bird I will have Bubu’s whiskers as an ornament on the wall. Is that clear?”

“But Bubu will not like that.”

“I don’t care what Bubu likes. And now have one of your famous sleeps that last 22 hours and meditate about it. In the meanwhile I will tell the birds to organise a couple of crows as guards on the bird house.”

“Oh, we don’t like crows, they are so dangerous.”

“Exactly.”

They’re here

Blackbird 90“Fluffy, look, they are here again. Our days of vitamin pellets are disappearing. At last something to sink your teeth into.”

“Yes Tabby, the boring days of bowls with brown bits and pieces are gone.”

“What are you two felines talking about? Your food will be served as usual, with a little tuna fish in between if you are good.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, the meals on wings have returned.”

“Tabby, Fluffy, what are you talking about? There are no meals on wings, that is a blackbird.”

“Call it what you want Mrs. Human, but we have an alternative source of food during the Winter months. Vitamin pellets are OK, but a nice fresh winged dinner is much more interesting.”

“Felines they are not meals on wings, but birds and you will leave your paws and jaws from them. I will be putting up the bird feeder tomorrow and put some food on the ground. The weather is getting colder and it might soon snow. The poor little birds have less to eat in winter.”

“Yes, true Mrs. Human. All the more that we sweet little felines have a food supplement. Both Fluffy and I are looking forward to the food table, so feed them well Mrs. Human.”

“Food table?”

“Errr, for the birds of course. We can’t have our lovely winged dinners birds getting thin. We want them to get nice and fat and stay healthy. Fluffy and I are both looking forward to the food table feeder, aren’t we Fluffy.”

“Ouch, Tabby you don’t have to poke me with your claw. I know what you mean.”

“Felines, I also know what you mean and if I see one of you within paw distance from a bird I will stop your tuna fish ration for a month and strike catmint from the meditation hour. Is that clear?”

“Of course Mrs. Human. Neither Tabby nor I, Fluffy, would dream of stealing one feather from the meals on wings the birds that will be gathering on the seed table.”

“No Fluffy, of course not. but perhaps one might just drop from the table if we feline shake it enough with our paws.”

“Think of your tuna fish ration, that is all I have to say.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human. “Fluffy, let’s wait until she goes out shopping and then we will pounce.””

“Felines I heard that.”

Fluffy is sleeping

Fluffy sleeping
“Fluffy, are you dreaming?”

“Mrs. Human we felines do not dream, we have true-life experiences.”

“But you were making some strange noises in your sleep.”

“I was being chased by the tuna monster.”

“By what?”

“The tuna monster, he was after me. I think I ate too much this evening before have a pre-sleep lick. He was chasing me and snapping with his sharp shark-like teeth. He said he was going to eat me out of revenge for all the harmless sweet little tuna fish I had been eating.”

“That sounds really frightening Fluffy. What happened?”

“He let me go after I promised I would never ever eat a tin of tuna fish again.”

“Fluffy, does that mean that I now only have to serve one dish of tuna for Tabby?”

“Don’t be silly Mrs. Human, of course not, it was only a dream.”

“I thought it was a true life experience.”

“Forget it, that is what the feline mothers tell their kittens as good night stories. I am now a grown up feline.”

“But you told me you don’t dream but have true life experiences.”

“Exactly Mrs. Human, we keep such stories for the subordinate of the species.”

The Supermarket Cat

Migros Cat
Here she or he is. We will call her she. I see her every time I visit the local supermarket. Sometimes she just lays outside watching the shoppers go bye. At the moment she is quite happy to sit beneath the Christmas tree that stands at the entrance. The entrance doors are automatic and made of glass. This morning I watched a she waited. Customers were entering and leaving but she sat on one side just waiting an then she pounced. There was a small space so she threaded her way through the doors heading to the restaurant which is near the entrance.

She usually watches and waits until she finds suitable victims that have settle on a table with food. How could anyone resist not donating a few crumbs for the benefit of a hungry begging cat. Looking into her eyes you can see the determination. After the restaurant visit she finds the stairs to the lower floor: the gardening department and sports department. She overcomes three flights of stairs to arrive, but cats being agile have no problem, I have a strong feeling she sniffs catnip in the air from the plants being sold, who knows.

She does not live in the supermarket, although has almost been adopted and she has not yet discovered the real paradise on the first floor, the butchers. I think she would have a problem with that department, entrance forbidden for cats. She lives somewhere in a house near the supermarket probably, but she is very independent.

Migros Cat